What I learned in my 40’s – month 2…..

So beyond the gray hair that we all seem to look forward to, other things that have changed as well.  

My mind.  I think most women at least my age have experienced how their minds have changed.  We are all experiencing some challenges that our bodies are throwing at us.  I’m not sure that I feel that the physical changes outweigh these changes in my mind. 

I have experienced this whole “losing my mind” scenario many times.  There are moments of complete clarity – I can recall so many more things, and recollection of past activities, short term memory is sharp, and long term memories readily recalled.  However, I have had those moments – particularly in meetings where I know what I want to say, but I can’t remember what I wanted to say.  I can’t identify that writing implement on the table.  I know it is carbon lead wrapped in wood, can be sharpened to a point, can be erased, and often an eraser is attached, but do you think I can remember the word “pencil”?  

I was facilitating a meeting one day when I had the misfortune to “lose my mind” in front of a client.  It was a small group, and Ihad not made lunch arrangements, but thought we could easily as a small group walk over to the closest restaurant within the building I worked in.  As we got to the point in the meeting to discuss meal opportunities, I couldn’t recall the name of the restaurant, or the word “restaurant”.  I could describe where it was located.  I could describe that we could eat there.  One of the meeting attendees took this very well, and said “is this like charades?”  Graceful recovery was not to be had.   I did appreciate the humour of the situation.  Lol.  What I could recall of it anyways….   😉

You know when you have words on the tip of your tongue, and they just can’t come out? Well – I have bitten that tongue, burnt it, eaten spicy foods that I swear cost me some taste buds. Well – in this case, the words are lost – maybe in the part of my tongue that can sense salty foods? All I know is, that I haven’t lost all of my faculties. Sure feels like my mind is trying to test me on that, and maybe test my sense of humour as well – along with those around me. 

Silver moments?  Enjoying amnesia and déjà but at the same time?  Hmm…  I haven’t quite figured out what the reference should be.  And, I have forgotten what other people have suggested this “affliction” can be called.  

Some of my friends that have been through this stage of life tell me “your mind does come back”.  I really wonder to what extent that happens.  If it does, I am not likely going to remember what it felt like when I really did have my mind…..  If that state of mind was ever present…..  I’ll just laugh my way through it for the time being….